The Salon That Taught Me I Was Never The Problem

I spent years believing I was the problem.

Not because anyone directly said it, but because when you spend enough time trying to fit into environments that don’t understand you - you eventually start believing you’re the one who needs fixing.

I have ADHD.

For most of my life I’ve experienced the world a little differently. My brain doesn’t work in a straight line. It’s loud, creative, emotional, passionate and sometimes completely chaotic.

As a hairstylist, that can be both a gift and a challenge. 

Clients often see the gift.

The energy.
The creativity.
The ability to connect.
The passion for making someone feel beautiful.

They don’t always see what happens behind the scenes.

The overwhelm.
The mental exhaustion.
The constant battle of trying to keep your head above water. 

Last year - I was given a medical letter recommending that I work only four days a week.

Not because I wasn’t capable.
Not because I wasn’t successful.

But because when I’m fully booked, constantly giving energy, constantly showing up for everyone else - my brain eventually reaches a point where it simply can’t keep up.

For years, I felt guilty about that…

Guilty for needing rest.
Guilty for feeling overwhelmed.
Guilty for not functioning the same way as everyone else. 

I thought being a good employee meant pushing through no matter what.

No matter how exhausted you were.
No matter how anxious you felt.
No matter how much your cup was overflowing.

So that’s what I did.

I worked harder.
I said yes more often.
I stayed later.
I gave more.
I pushed through things I probably shouldn’t have.

The thing about ADHD is that people often focus on the struggles. What they don’t talk about enough is the hyperfocus.

The way you throw your whole heart into something.
The way you become completely invested.
The way you give everything you’ve got because you genuinely care.

That was me. For years. 

And if I’m honest; I think that unconditional-willingness was often taken advantage of.

I became known as the person who would always push harder.

Always do more.
Always find a way.
Until eventually, I burnt out.

Completely.

At one salon, things became so severe that there were conversations about medically boarding me.

At another, I arrived with a medical recommendation explaining the support I needed and those accommodations were denied. 

The message wasn’t always spoken out loud, but it felt clear:

Keep going.
Keep pushing.
Keep performing.

So I did.
Until there was nothing left of me to give.

And somewhere along the way I started believing that my value came from how much I could sacrifice.

Then I joined Nudo Hair Lab.

And for the first time in my career, something felt different.

I expected to have to explain myself.
I expected to have to defend myself.
I expected people to roll their eyes when I felt overwhelmed.
I expected to be told to “just push through.”

Instead, they listened. Not listened so they could respond.

Listened so they could understand.

When I explained my ADHD - they listened.

When I spoke about my medical recommendation to work four days a week - they listened.

When I stood up during meetings because sitting still felt impossible - nobody made me feel strange.

When I became overwhelmed - nobody made me feel weak.

When life happened outside of work, I was treated like a human being and not a machine.

And for someone who has spent most of her life feeling different; being understood is a very powerful thing.

The funny thing is that Nudo didn’t change me.

They didn’t fix me.
They didn’t magically make my ADHD disappear.

What they did do was create an environment where I didn’t have to spend all my energy hiding it.

And that changed everything!

For the first time in my career I wasn’t fighting against myself every day.

I wasn’t constantly trying to prove that I was capable.
I wasn’t apologizing for being different.

I could just be Tam.

A hairstylist.
A creative.
A person.

And somehow that made me better at all three.

People often think success comes from pressure.

Work harder.
Do more.
Push further.

But sometimes success comes from something much simpler.

Support.
Trust.
Understanding.
Humanity.

Nudo taught me something that I wish every business owner understood:

People thrive when they feel safe.
Not safe from accountability.
Safe enough to be human.

There are still standards.
There are still expectations.
There are still goals.

But there is also compassion.

And that combination is incredibly rare!

The truth is - when I joined Nudo - my life was falling apart in more ways than one.

I was rebuilding.

Rebuilding my confidence.
Rebuilding my future.

Trying to figure out who I was outside of survival mode.

And somewhere during that process, Nudo became more than just a workplace.

It became a home.

A place where I could put down the weight I had been carrying for so long.
A place where I could breathe.
A place where I could slow down enough to hear myself think again.
A place where the chaos became quieter.
A place where I could finally stop fighting and start growing.

Looking back now; I realize something important...

My ADHD was never the biggest obstacle.

The biggest obstacle was constantly being in environments that made me feel like I had to hide parts of myself to be accepted.

The moment I stopped hiding, I started blooming.

Today, I am calmer.
More confident.
More balanced.
Not because I changed who I am.

But because I found a team that allowed me to be exactly who I am.

I used to think a workplace was somewhere you went to earn a salary. Now I know it can be so much more than that.

The right workplace doesn’t just give you a job.
The right workplace gives you room to grow.
Sometimes it gives you room to heal.

And if you’re lucky, it gives you room to become the person you were always meant to be.

For years I thought I was the problem. 

Nudo taught me that maybe I never was.

Maybe I was just waiting for the right environment to bloom!

• Tamieke Nieuwoudt
• NUDO HAIR LAB TYGERVALLEY CAPE TOWN